Morning Run

I have quite a few memories of Wes. I wanted to share this one first.
In highschool, on a whim I wanted to start running every morning before school. On the first morning I decided to do this I got up early, before the sun and put on my running shoes. Wes was waiting outside. He had driven to my house so he could run with me- not that he wanted to start running- it was that he didn’t want me running alone.
I can’t express how special that mad me feel and at the time probably didn’t realize how wonderful of an act it actually was. This was our only early morning run together. I guess the whim for me was rather fleeting- but I do know that if I wanted to get up and run that next morning, Wes would have been there waiting. Wes was very caring and kind.
In the movie American Me, there is a part when the women is speaking about the main character and she says- "you are like two people". This described Wes. He was like two people. He was the boy that would run with me in the early hours of the morning so I didn’t run alone- but he was also the boy who would smash his fist through a window if something angered him. I believe he never actually knew how to be one or the other, although he tried. This was a constant inner battle and this battle created more of the anger and frustration that hindered the boy that ran with me that morning from shining.
And now the tears begin to flow.
And I wish I could have done more- even when I am told over and over that it wouldn’t have mattered it is a feeling, a thought I can not shake. Even after all these years.